AOL Instant Messenger in a Bottle
Session dated June 3, 1994
Total login time: 43,945 hours, 6 minutes
LoNER613: PK, u chill-N?
PLSKLLME: Ya.
LoNER613: How R u?
LoNER613: …Lo?
PLSKLLME: Sad.
LoNER613: I can tll. It normL-e dsn’t take u so long to RE.
PLSKLLME: Srry, L. Ur right, 2 yrs is lng. I’ll try 2 B quikR now. It’s hrd 2 motiv8 w/ no hope of resQ.
LoNER613: Ya…
PLSKLLME: Anythng noo hppn l8ely?
LoNER613: Saw a lemur 2day!
PLSKLLME: Kewl! Wht duz he look like?
LoNER613: Dn’t remembR. Havn’t seen him in 3 mnths.
PLSKLLME: 2 bad.
LoNER613: Ya. Hit me up l8r.
PLSKLLME: K :)
***
Session dated December 14, 1999
Total login time: 25,664 hours, 47 minutes
LoNER613: Lo? U there, PK?
PLSKLLME: Of crse. Tht’s a stoopid question!
LoNER613: Sorry. How R u?
PLSKLLME: SOTB, CMAO.
LoNER613: Crying? Why? :(
PLSKLLME: Been on ths beach 7 yrs! COL! Lonely. Miss my family. O well, at least I have u.
LoNER613: Trew. Will u B online l8r?
PLSKLLME: Wht else will I B doing!
LoNER613: So trew.
***
Session dated February 22, 2002
Total login time: 33,487 hours, 23 minutes
PLSKLLME: Hi L, how R u?
LoNER613: Lo. I’m OK…OMG, did u see that?!
PLSKLLME: Wht?!
LoNER613: A shp! Holy sht! Keep ur eye out!
LoNER613: …PK?
LoNER613: …Lo? PK, u there?
LoNER613: …PK, seriously. I’m getting worried. It’s been almost 3 yrs. U ok? Also, I’m out of bttles, so send 2 bck, K?
PLSKLLME: Gd dmn u! I broke my stoopid ankle running down the bch looking 4 ur imaginary shp!
LoNER613: Sorry bout tht, PK! Pls send 1 more bttle when u can.
PLSKLLME: Asshle!
LoNER613: Thx!
***
Session dated March 5, 2006
Total login time: 7,212 hours, 14 minutes
LoNER613: PK!
PLSKLLME: Ya?
LoNER613: R u there?
PLSKLLME: Jss! R u kidding me? Wht do u want, L?
LoNER613: I sent u a link!
PLSKLLME: But L, we dn’t hve kompewterz!
LoNER613: O ya…
PLSKLLME: U REtard!
***
Session dated November 18, 2006
Total login time: 4,212 hours, 14 minutes
PLSKLLME: Lo, L. How R u?
LoNER613: Bored. U?
PLSKLLME: Bet-R. Some nudie mags washed up on the bch.
LoNER613: Ooh, can I c?
PLSKLLME: (.)(.)
......................Y
LoNER613: Kewl! Full frntl!
***
Session dated May 6, 2007
Total login time: 3,633 hours, 52 minutes
PLSKLLME: Grrhpjgermekmnkn.
LoNER613: Wht? I dn’t undRstand u!
PLSKLLME: Bhhrmpamidnan.
LoNER613: PK, I cn’t read that!
LoNER613: …PK, WTF?!
PLSKLLME: Sorry. It sed, “Hold on, I need to go find a new cork. This one’s leaking.”
LoNER613: O. Tht’s much bet-R!
***
Session dated October 22, 2007
Total login time: 56,448 hours, 2 minutes
LoNER613: Lo? PK?
PLSKLLME: What?
LoNER613: Do u think we’ll evR B resQd?
PLSKLLME: Probly not.
LoNER613: Wht R u doing?
LoNER613: …Lo? PK?
PLSKLLME: Hmping a coconut.
LoNER613: WTF?
PLSKLLME: Hve no pants on.
LoNER613: For real?
PLSKLLME: Really. What R u wearing?
LoNER613: Same thng I alwayz wear. I only hve 1 chnge of cloze, dummy!
PLSKLLME: How old R u?
LoNER613: Thirty eight. Why?
PLSKLLME: Dn’t u mean eleven?
LoNER613: Wht? No. Wht do u mean, PK?
PLSKLLME: Do u wnt to meet me? I’m vry nice. I’ll swim 2 u.
LoNER613: Huh?
PLSKLLME: We cn B spesh-L friends…
LoNER613: OMG! Grody!
PLSKLLME: But I luv u! Dn’t u luv me?
LoNER613: AftR all ths time! I cn’t believe u! Find some1 else 2 harass, u sick perVo!
PLSKLLME: …L?
LoNER613: What?!
PLSKLLME: Psyche!
LoNER613: OMG, you big jrk! U hd me fooled fer sher! Totally ROTB, LMAO!
PLSKLLME: LOL, fer sher. Ok, gotta go. Monsoon coming! Talk 2 u in a few mnths! :)
LoNER613: K! Talk 2 u soon! TTFN! :)